Hey pearlypeeps!!! Sorry an update is coming very late. These past few weeks hasn’t really been my favorite. My Microsoft word crashed and I couldn’t write because of that. Also, I’ve been going through emotional and psychological distress for about a week or two and it hasn’t been funny at all. Surprisingly though, I learnt a few things during this period also. You know how the bible tells us to cast our cares on God for He cares for us? (1 peter 5:7) Well, I didn’t know that my thoughts and feelings were also in the package; funny right? And so, because I didn’t have that knowledge, even though I prayed every day and studied, I was still having issues with depression and anger beyond my control. I prayed about surrendering all to Christ and letting Him take charge but I was subconsciously still holding on to that feeling of depression. I lost inspiration to continue my ongoing book, studying for school was hard, relationship with people was strenuous, in fact it seemed like everything put me in a sour mood.
Fortunately for me today, God fixed all that. *smiles. My mood got so bad today that my mind was so unsettled, I couldn’t concentrate on anything or sleep. This is bad because no matter how bad I feel, no matter how wrong things seem, I’m always able to sleep. When I walked into the chapel in my hostel this evening for my study session, I didn’t know what to do. I placed my devotional and bible on the chair next to where I sat and closed my eyes. And after the crazy week before of depression, I felt so full, I felt like I was going to explode. So I did the only thing left for me then to do. I EXPLODED. I told God everything about the way I felt emotionally and asked Him to take it all away. Not your conventional prayer that follows a pattern, but I spoke to Him as a friend, partner, help. I bared it all out and asked Him to have mercy, I was His daughter after all. Gosh it felt sooooooooooooooo good! Lol. It was amazing!!!!. I felt a weight lifting from my heart with every single sentence I made. I felt calm and light; better than I had felt in a long time. Why didn’t I ever think about this all along? Why did I have to wait till I got so full? These questions filled my heart and 1 peter 5:7 and Matt 11:28 kept coming to my heart. God loves me, He cares for me, He doesn’t want me tired or weary, he wants to give me rest. I could almost hear the silent whisper. I felt so cherished, so cared for, so favored, so loved… it was amazing. And just like that I felt better. All it took was just baring it all out to Him and asking Him to take care of it. Simple.
Perhaps someone reading this post might be experiencing the same feeling, sweetheart, He cares for you. He doesn’t want you depressed or feeling unloved or not cared for. Honestly. All you have to do is just tell Him about it; every single detail. He is the only person you can’t lie to so you might as well just bare it all and trust that He is able to make all things right. Even your thoughts and emotions. Trust me, He was nailed to that cross with all our pain, sorrow, depression and all negative thoughts so you can have joy, peace, love, care…. Name it!!! YOU ARE FREE!!!! HE LOVES YOU.
P.S chapter three of my book ‘FORGOTTEN’ is underway. Would be uploaded soon. I drew my inspiration from Jesus and now I feel like I can write till forever… lol. God bless ya’ll. Mwuahhhhh!!!!